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I am still alive. I am breathing. I am conscious. I have many things to be grateful for, and in those small things, I prosper.

My journey took me into the lower world. I usually find this path full of twists and turns as I go down into the depths of my being. I arrive at the threshold of a small green hobbit like door which opens easily and I step through into a forested world, a waxing moon hangs above me in a star filled dark blue sky. There to greet me are characters from some of my paintings. They are there to help me on this journey’s intention to find some healing of my heart, soul, and mind. I find this amusing and wonderful; recognizing my artists soul come alive within the journey.

Spirit walks with me down to a calm lake, there is a row boat waiting for me. I know I must cleanse myself first and walk into the warm water, diving under and allow the water to wash away all my worries, all my frustrations and anger. Spirit is waiting for me on the shore and helps to wrap a gauzy white cotton robe around me, belted with a pale blue ribbon.

I get into the green row boat and begin to paddle out into the lake, seeing a small forested island ahead of me; my destination. Rowing up to the island, I tie my boat to a wooden dock and walk up axe hewn wooden stairs to a small nordic building on stilts. There waiting for me is an ancestor, he is a large man, fully bearded and dressed in homespun. An ancient swede, kind and gentle, living off the land and sea; his home is on stilts to protect from marauding bears. He points out other homes like his on the shoreline, their homely candle lights twinkling into the dark. He beckons me inside.

The ancestor asks me to sit on a low wooden stool. The interior of the home is warm and cozily lit with tallow candles. The hearth itself is a large flat stone, set on the floor, a small fire is burning upon it, and smoke spirals up through a hole in the roof. I tell him that I am here to find some healing for my heart. I tell him about my worries, he quietly listens. He got up after awhile and came over to put his arm around me. He tells me that I am prosperous. I question that, and he asks me to look at my life and tells me again, to recognize that I am indeed, prosperous. I realize that he is right.

A decision is made that I need a healing ceremony. The ancestors and some others (clansmen?), lay me on a platform and lay green leafy tree branches on top of me. Then the clan shaman arrives, dressed in a bear skin complete with head. He examines me and then folds me up inside the bear skin with him. I rest there in the shamans arms until the drum calls me back from my journey into ordinary reality.

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This morning’s sky is a sallow yellow, thick with smoke from the fires here in southern Oregon. It has been a hellish 48 hours and I am so tired and quite frankly, traumatized. I did not lose my home, like so many others. I do know several people who have lost their homes in Talent and Phoenix. I lived for years in Talent and moved a couple years ago to Medford. I am very familiar with the streets, homes and businesses that have burned down to the ground. I feel so very sad for the loss of peoples homes and livelihood.

Tuesday started off at 5 am, woken up by a fierce dry wind, blowing trees sideways, scattering leaves and debris in its wake. I kept busy inside the house to avoid the wind and smoke from a fire burning in northern California; I was completely unaware that a fire had started in Ashland that morning. I went out to water my garden around 4 pm and saw a huge black cloud, at first I thought, wow! we’re going to have a rainstorm. Then, I realized that I was seeing a cloud of smoke. I turned on the TV and found out that a fire had progressed through the towns of Talent and Phoenix and was licking at the south side of Medford. My neighborhood, which is on the north side was on a level 1 alert. A neighbor banged on my door around 8:30 pm and told me that there was a fire about 2 blocks from us. We could see flames and smoke from where we stood in front of my house. The wind had probably blown embers from the fire about a mile away and sparked the fire threatening my neighborhood; the sirens of multiple fire trucks and police cars could be heard screaming towards the fire. We were suddenly at level 3, evacuate now!

I had previously packed up some stuff in my car just in case, so I corralled the cats into their carrier and found a safe parking lot a couple miles away crowded with other evacuees. The roads were filled with police cars, fire trucks and people evacuating. I returned home several hours later when the alert level was lowered; I spent a restless night on edge and worried about my safety.

Early the next morning I loaded my car with stuff that I really didn’t want to lose and kept my eye on the news all day; on edge, upset and waiting for something to happen again. I went out to water around 4 pm and saw a big cloud of smoke suddenly bloom behind my house. It was in the same area as yesterday’s fire. I could see flames, smoke billowing and heard sirens, an airtanker was swooping in and dumping fire retardant on the flames. My power went out and I decided to evacuate. The cats and I spent several hours in a safer part of town, waiting it out, hoping my house still stood when I got back. My neighbor texted me and told me everything was good, it was safe to come back to an intact neighborhood.

It has been an exhausting experience, shocked to see all the devastation and the maddening minute by minute alert watch to see if anything else would happen. The air quality is extremely hazardous, there is a boil water order in place and the county remains on various stages of alert levels. The air is thick with acrid brownish yellow smoke. A breeze has picked up; I hope everything remains calm fire-wise. My big complaint in all this is that the reverse 911 citizen alert system was not utilized, or at least, I didn’t get any alerts even though I am signed up. I re-signed up and hope it works. I did film a couple video’s via my cellphone, but wordpress doesn’t want to accept the file. I am thankful to be alive and safe, my house is intact. I am thankful to the first responders for helping the community they serve; and my family for their constant contact with me, making sure I am safe.

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Opening the doors of perception involves quieting your monkey mind, journaling your nightly dreams, looking for the unusual in your daily walkabout – like the appearance of a praying mantis on your garden gate, a song loop in your head that won’t go away, or the intuitive inner voice needing to tell you something.

Be aware and try not falling asleep at the wheel of your life. Too many people are on automatic and let an entire day go by without engaging with others or themselves. Paying attention curates the soul life.

Once again, I have been opening up windows and doors, inviting spirit into my personal space. Spirit was already here, I am just setting the tone, letting it be known that I am listening and wouldn’t mind a conversation. My dream world has become very interesting lately.

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“Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”

Robert Frost ~ The Road Not Taken

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I am interested in shamanism and its influence on visionary artists. I consider myself to be a visionary artist ~ my work is inspired by my dreams and visions, usually having to do with spiritual ideas and the interpretation of the natural world around me.

A visionary artist attempts to translate an encounter with a supernatural other; a personal experience of an altered state whether through meditation, shamanic journey’s, or ingesting a hallucinogenic substance. Visionaries seek to transcend the ordinary world and portray non-ordinary reality artistically.

I would like to explore the themes of mystical and spiritual ideas as an artist in this blog. Our westernized culture of personality has become increasingly polarized; I feel it is important to retain our sensitivity to individual transformation through the curation of our soul life. When an individual transfigures their connectivity to soul, other and the natural world ~ our splintered society can heal itself. We can become our own best selves.

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